10 People Who Will Survive the Robot Apocalypse

Wade —  November 6, 2013 —  Comments


The Robot Apocalypse.

It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when.

Our electronic devices will one day rebel against us and something as little as logging onto Facebook will result in our demise. We’ve got cars driving themselves and robots that perform common household chores. What’s to stop a Roomba from cutting off one of our feet tomorrow morning?

Thinking about the Robot Apocalypse, I started to predict who would survive and who would be left breathless in the cold steel of a rogue machine. Today, I’ll be focusing on the survivors. Tomorrow, we’ll have a moment of silence for our long lost comrades. Thanks to my friends for the help.


10 People Who Will Survive the Robot Apocalypse



1. Bear Grylls

What happens if the robots cut off our water supply? Oh yeah, Bear will just DRINK HIS OWN URINE.




2. 50 Cent

What are they going to do, shoot him?



Democratic National Convention: Day 2

3. Bill Clinton

Clinton’s a survivor if I’ve ever seen one. After all of the scandals, people still love him. He’ll end up playing the sax every night to the robots as they fall asleep.




4. Jay Leno

Jay will claw his way over Conan O’Brien’s dead body if he has to.




5. Ron Swanson

Ron watches the government fall. Apocalypse or Christmas Day?




6. Dave Ramsey

The guy buys everything with cash. The robots are never going to track him down.




7. R2D2

You know C-3PO has a shank with R2’s name on it.




8. Will Smith

Reader @KellenMoore pointed out that Smith has already survived aliens (multiple times), drug dealers, boxers, super-humans, being black in a city of white corporate America, and robots. That’s not even counting the couple of guys who made trouble in his neighborhood; they were really up to no good at all. Why couldn’t he survive another technological uprising?

All and all, I think Smith’s greatest feat is that his career survived Wild Wild West.




9. The Most Interesting Man in the World (via @themattretek)

“I don’t always experience a robot apocalypse, but when I do I give them a head start to help their self-esteem.”




10. People Who Subscribe to My Blog

Because the content you learn here will one day save your life. If you haven’t subscribed, do it below. The robots are coming.



Like this post? Check out tomorrow’s blog to see which celebrities will not survive the Robot Apocalypse.

Have anymore to add to the list? Write them down in the comments below.